Taking Care of YOU: Mentally

I would like to start by saying that I am sorry that I have not kept true to posting everyday or at least every other day.  Shortly after I first wrote my first post on here, I had sort of a "stress fracture" in my head.

I just had a lot of stresses with working for a friend, which you would think wouldn't be hard, but it's stressful because you don't want to let your friends down. I was also on four different design teams which all had deadlines, family stuff (summer sports camps, taking kids places they needed to be, and trying to keep things somewhat organized), my hubby's job not having straight full time hours (Thank God I coupon), trying to keep bills paid, fighting with Bank of America for our home and trying to make EVERYONE else happy. It slowly clicked down on a countdown to a little bit of a mental breakdown for me.

I really thought I could handle EVERYTHING.  After all- I bought my first home when I was 19. I worked 2 jobs (one full time and one part time) and went to college before Garth and I decided to have kids. I just figured it was something I could still accomplish---5 pounds of crap in a 2 pound bag.

But  I couldn't. It was a very humbling experience for me to realize I had to dwindle down my "TO DO" list drastically. I am a person who had 2 planners, 4 calendars, dry erase boards, etc., etc.  Just to keep myself organized.  First thing I did?  I stepped down from all of my design teams.  But I was still stressed. So, I decided that I needed to start planning more with our extended families also.  I called my mom and dad to try to set up weekly dinners and that was a GO! :) With Garth's family, I go over there weekly and try to talk to my mom-in-law daily so setting up things is always easy for them. :)

We tried to start a budget, but with school coming up, it was proving to be a tad difficult---so we set a loose budget for ourselves and will revisit that later! :)

I called my doctor, who I have a GREAT and very straight forward relationship. She knows my mental medical history and knows most of what goes on in my head.  You see, I have BPD (Bi Polar Disorder) and it really didn't surface, although I am always sure it was there until I had my daughter, Sasha, in 2007.  I ended up being diagnosed with PPD (Post Par tum Depression) after having her and that is when the BPD really surfaced.

I have been told I "should" be on meds for it, BUT the meds I need would cause birth defects in a baby. Well, neither my husband nor I have been "fixed". So, until we cross the bridge of being sure we are finished having children---my antidepressants will have to do.  My doctor did up the strength on them though and I am somewhat straightened out.

Here's the deal:  Yes, I have a mental illness. It doesn't give me an excuse to run amuck with my emotions, mistreat people, or lie. Although, I have never been too good at lying....I always fidget and smile when I even try---so I figured out a LONG time ago--what's the point of it?

But it also doesn't or at least shouldn't give people the right or "ammo" to attack me and then when I get upset and fight back---to say, "You need to get on your meds."  Really? I never seem to hear that unless I am disagreeing with people.  I really have only had one person throw it in my face.

This is what I mean by, "Taking Care of You".  The first time this person did this I was like: " Hmmm....ok." And honestly, they were a friend and figured they would not do it anymore because I told them it did hurt me.  Well, it's happened a second time and I have officially washed my hands of that person.

So, what I am saying to all you moms out there is: GET RID OF THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS!!! If a person attacks you repeatedly and brings up something that they know cuts you....Do you want that in your life?

Also, when taking care of you. If a friendship is one sided...Do yourself a favor...Drop it.  If they aren't there for the little stuff you need them for; they won't be there when it matters. There are plenty of people out there who want to be friends with you, who have realized that like every relationship, a friendship takes time and equal measures of give and take.

Also--above all else, remember what really matters:  YOUR FAMILY. Your kids and for some of us, your husband and those you are responsible for. They should always be your main priority.  Keep the relationship in your family straight forward and hide NOTHING.  When you try to hide things...that causes stress.

Ultimately, you know what you?your mind can handle. Don't overwork yourself, but don't just sit and do nothing....your family is watching you. Get out there and do things as a family...an activity.  And people, TV isn't a family activity....board games are....TV isn't.  You have no idea how many families make a day of just watching TV....once in a while, its ok...every weekend...NOT SO MUCH.

My wish for you is to keep healthy.

Take care of you and yours. :)